Fiction, Idle Mind

An introduction to Marriage II

August 7, 2017 • By

If you are still reading this, there are two things involved. 
1.    You have probably aborted your plans to get married.
2.    You are getting married.

Either way, you are in the right place, I am not sure if you will get the right information here, but let’s give it a try. People do not willingly get married. Think about it, it is the society that wants you to, your parents want it too, or it is a prerequisite to acquiring citizenship abroad or another scam by the church to make money.

The Proposal
This is the hard part, if a woman proposes to you, please admit she has real love and conclude that you are screwed. However, if as a man, you develop balls and talk your way into suicide, remember that you will be reminded later when things go wrong that you made the move. She will even go ahead and tell you she didn’t want to get matrimonized in the first place.

What you will need
To propose, you will need a 750ml of vodka so you do not remember whatever it is you said that you shouldn’t have in the first place. CAUTION: The vodka is for two things; to help you say those dainty things and help in case she says NO to all you’re rattling afterwards. You will also need music, soft music – loud music does not really matter as long as it is not Maurice Kirya’s music lest you sound too serious. 

In your right state of mind, please acquire yourself a knee pad to help with the kneeling down OR ….. Purchase a walking stick and do it while standing. The ambience does not really matter, but a quiet place will get you peeing your pants. If you cannot handle the heat, an air conditioned room may come in handy. Remember to bring true friends around to clap when she says YES and to help open the vodka when things go berserk and never around random people, leave that for movies.

Note: Do not take any of this seriously.